into the dark

into the dark, originally uploaded by desert_dan.

 

When I came to Qatar I had a theory that most expats here are running away from something. I still have that theory. Slowly, as I got to know people here, this theory seemed to be vindicated. I’ve met people fleeing bad relationships, failed relationships, drug problems, persecution and squalid conditions. Each of these people have come here to try and elminate some aspect from their life, and of course make some money.

This theory was borne of the fact that there was something that I was trying to distance myself from, just at the time I didn’t know it. At the end of 2006 I had it pretty good. Great friends, a good life in a great city and a beautiful girlfriend. What more could I want. This was the environment in which I made a decision to come to Qatar, at the time I knew I wanted more, I needed the challenge to step outside my comfort zone and know what if feels like moving to a strange city. At first it wasn’t a fun experience, but.. I am sure that I will do it again. After a few months being here, I realised that maybe some of the things I held so dear in Melbourne, weren’t too healthy. Or rather, it wasn’t healthy to hold them so dear. The distance helped me let go.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with a Jordanian friend of mine about morality, and differences that we see in morality and ethical behaviour. She happened to utter a remark about partners being selfish and not giving up something when it matters most. I realised then, how silly I have been. An ex partner of mine, despite sometimes seeming a little self-driven, possibly gave up the only opportunity she had, for something she always wanted. I don’t know this for sure, opportunities come and go, but this was exceptionally unique and may not come around. Whether she did it for me, or herself is not clear. But it has crystallised in my mind to not let any opportunity pass without at least reaching out for it.

Its time to start crawling into the dark, and no matter what I may bump up against.

~ by danavard on January 10, 2008.